The electorate expected the Parliament/MP clearout to begin with the appointment of a new Speaker, given suggestions the latest incumbent John Bercow had until recently ’flipping’ forgot to pay capital gains tax on the sale of a ‘second home’, is it possible Labour’s surprising support for the Tory was in confusing Bercow’s surname with household electrical supplies company Burco who sell both frying pans and fires.
Matters were not helped when the French entered the quarrel of the Speaker’s ballot and having mistranslated the name Bercow for Burka, claiming a UK election cover up and demanded a recount.
Diplomatic tension rose with French intent to take to the streets in support of three UK fashion victims, alleging mental cruelty as no one in their right minds would voluntary dress in that manner, and demanded an immediate invasion of the UK, offering Calais as the departure point for the expeditionary force whilst denying EU rules were broken as no French nationals would be involved given Calais had a full compliment of Iraqis and Afghans willing to use whatever means possible to land on UK soil.
The UK denied the allegation of cruelty claiming the high neck sweaters was yet another attempt to pull the wool over the voters eyes, however far more importantly the two countries are at loggerheads over MEP’s expenses with the French demanding the Brits rename ‘The Gravy Train’ as ‘Le Traîne de Sauce ’ in the spirit of the entente cordiale.
Historically Britain has always endeavoured to settle Anglo/Francais quarrels amicably, usually by sinking the French Fleet, however since new EU Gaelic/Italia sponsored health and safety regulations require all warships to be fitted with six reverse gears and no forward, the British navy ever eager to placate our rapidly retreating EU partners has been reduced to a shot across the bows and a request for more powerful binoculars.
A spokesman denied rumours the Speaker would be wearing a Burka in his official capacity, it is thought the standard Burka would swamp the diminutive Bercow, but with government demands that like all their policy’s ‘one size should fit all’ the Speaker tripped on the hem of his new garb fortuitously landing gently on the ever increasing Gravy Train, destination Taxpayers Wallet, or is it Wallie. |
