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Businesses For Sale Online Newsletter > For The Light of Heart > Driving Economy Test Failure
Driving Economy Test Failure

Driving Economy Test Failure

17 Dec 2008

The recently announced Department for Transport (DfT) failure of their driving efficiency test has cost the seemingly bottomless pockets of the taxpayer another £81 million when their intention was to have saved £57 million.

Some felt their choice of driving efficiency instructors The Darling Brown’s may have been at the forefront of this & many other catastrophic economic failures.

Apparently the proposal was to cut internal admin/management costs at the DfT, but workers claimed they had struggled with a computer system which had on occasions issued messages in German, including the greeting “Audi do” & “mines a Porsche”.

Rumours abound some DfT staff were so stressed they have been sent home on full pay, with the proviso they enrol on the ever popular part- time German language course for Traffic Wardens, Mein hero der Fuhrer.

Such had been the confusion that long serving DfT staff have been unable to find their way to work for the last two years as their reliance on German technology suppliers “DUMMKOPF” included Satnav which didn’t know its Left hand drive from its right hand drive.

Unconfirmed reports that staff stress levels had become so intolerable they had demanded a retirement package similar to that of many other public sector workers, thus entitling them to a massive overpayment on their unfunded final salary pension, with a further guarantee that any such bonus will not be returned to the taxpayer.

There are whispers that an enquiry chaired by a retired judge had ruled the overpayment could not be returned as he had already spent his on a third holiday home in the Algarve where his mistress of long-standing Miss Whippy could administer her Sunday special with “lashings” of ice cream. 

We wish you a merry Christmas
or as the computer would say:
Wir wunsch euch ein fröhlich Weihnachten

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